Gotta Love Moms

I went to boarding school overseas for my formidable high school years which prepared me well for independence. As a result I purposefully live far away from all family members to ensure as little interference as possible. But now there's that pesky telephone and the internets.

Anyway, several years ago (more like ten) my mother drove up to visit me. When I say visit me I mean visit me. She stayed over, people. In my apartment. I cleaned that place for two months in preparation, and the first thing out of her mouth was something to the effect of "You certainly didn't go out of your way to clean." Oh yeah, it was rough. I have a hard time in general with space invaders, so I was ready to jump out of my skin (or perhaps a window) the whole time she was there.

My mother and I had always engendered prickly-ness in one another. It was our way. We still feel its effects today, but we're awfully good friends now. I think the friendship was only able to develop when during the aforementioned visit I was finally honest with her about how much some of the things she said broke me down and beat me up. The two statements that got to me most were the ever-insulting "You have such a pretty face," and "You ate the entire meal??? OooooKay." This woman raised me by herself and worked hard to do it, so I looked up to her as my only role model in life, put her on a pedestal. When someone that important to you says things that would ordinarily feel like a bit of a slap, it becomes a full on punch in the stomach that takes the wind right out of you. And I finally told her that. And it stopped. She had no idea, really.

At least I thought it had stopped. In reality it's just manifested itself in a different way. But I've gained more perspective on my predicament as I've gotten older and I'm able to handle perceived criticisms better. For instance, since my mom now declares that "You don't have anything if you don't have your health," I've translated it into a paid (by her) membership to Curves "for my health". And when we go out to eat somewhere and she wraps up half of her meal I do the same, because I've begun to realize that I can also use her arsenal of weaponry to my advantage, turning it into inspiration. Mom's hot. She works out at Curves 3x a week, plays golf a couple of times, and plays tennis when she's not doing the other two. Even if she were doing it all just to make me feel inferior (which is what my sick mind twists it into), why shouldn't I look to her for motivation? So what if I'm not retired and I only have a two hour window in my day, mostly after dark.

Mom loves me. She wants the best for me. She's not out to get me...I think. And it pisses me off that I really do have a pretty face and that she was right all along. So I'm putting that Curves membership to good use. I'm watching what I eat and trying to pick up some of her habits because I love her. And mostly because I want to render her speechless.

Goals, etc. as influenced by Mom:

• Go to Curves at least 3x a week;
• Get out of the house and move;
• Eat half that sandwich and leave the chips for the boy and his dad;
• You don't have anything if you don't have your health. (damn it)