Big Changes

I haven't written in over a year. Plus, I've avoided even visiting my own blog. This is sort of an apropos metaphor for my attitude toward weight loss, too. I am gung ho about it. I go at it full force. I begin to see results. I immediately roll back downhill.

Since I abandoned my little project here, I made a major move in my battle of the bulge(s). On July 9th I underwent lap band surgery. I thought about it for a long time and I studied it. I even visited a very supportive website with forum upon forum of people discussing their own lap band experiences in lurid detail. After a six-month battle with my insurance company I emerged victorious, and my little plastic friend was installed amongst my innards.

I approached this surgery with caution. I did not have a last meal where I ate so much that I needed to upchuck, as some "bandsters" do before they start their mandatory liquid pre-underthekinfe diet. I set out to make smarter decisions with a goal toward changing my mindset slowly rather than suddenly (meaning, the day after my surgery). So I lost a few pounds before I had my pre-op appointment with the surgeon. Not too many, but just enough I guess. My surgeon informed me that instead of doing the 10 - 14 day liquid diet so many are doomed to do, I only had to do 5 days. WOOHOO! And it started 4th of July weekend. Not so WOOHOO! I did my 5 days happily, however, and as a result lost 8 lbs. The only time I really wanted to claw my eyes out during that process was when my DH brought home KFC and ate it in the next room. Seriously, does anything smell more appetizing than fried chicken???!!!

I got to the hospital, went into surgery, and slept for a long time. When I finally woke up my first thought was, "What in the hell did I do to myself???" I was in pain. The more well-known term for it is "port pain", where the little port is sewn into a muscle or something. It hurt for a few days, then it became discomfort. As of yesterday I hardly notice it at all. My incisions healed nicely, even if the larger ones will remain ugly for sometime.

The first few days, you're not that into eating. You're more concerned about sneezing and blowing the port out the side of your body. You gradually start eating regularly with liquids, soft foods, somewhat normal foods, then normal foods in stages. Then you realize that you can eat a lot more than you expect, so it's crucial to remain dedicated to the process and make good decisions that will benefit you in the long run. Do not let others sway you with their foodly wares. Do not assume that you can eat the same thing as them. You can't. Well, you shouldn't. This is the true test of your relationship with food right here. I think if you can overcome this particular time, you can soldier on forever. I'm doing really, really well. But I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, which is uncool. I've got to get over being in that frame of mind all the time, especially since I don't have any restriction right now.

I get my first band fill on 9/3. Exactly one week before I go on vacation. Hopefully it will give me a slight restriction and keep me fuller longer. And hopefully that will change my frame of mind. So far I'm down 20 lbs total. I'm looking into the distance for more.

Oh, and that sneezing thing goes away.