Staples, Cinq

Pardon my French, folks. :)

Another of my favorites: I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! Spray.

Here are the nutritional values http://www.tasteyoulove.com/product_detail.asp?pid=5 .

I really can't imagine life without butter. Seriously. But this stuff comes really close. You can put it on toast, use it in recipes, spray it on a potato -- anything you want! In fact, I just used it last night to make a grilled cheese sandwich (OK, so the cheese isn't good for me, nor is the white bread, but I saved myself some fat, cholesterol and calories by using the spray, didn't I?).

I sure hope other stuff starts coming out in a spray. I'm sensing a trend here!

Bon appetit.

Staples, Quatre

If you're anything like me, you love a good salad. Especially when it's dripping with creamy ranch dressing, or any kind of dressing for that matter. If you haven't tried Salad Spritzers I urge you to try them right away. They're amazing! At last, a wonderful alternative for dressing junkies. Here's the main spritzer page on Wishbone's site: http://www.wish-bone.com/Dressings/1807/Balsamic-Breeze-Vinaigrette.aspx .

Also, for added flavor in a salad keep a jar of mild pepperoncini in your fridge. When you make your salad, cut open the pepperoncini and drain it over the lettuce and veggies!

Staples, Trois

I found this recipe online and it is unbelievably tasty. Also, because I work and don't necessarily have time to create a lunch in the morning, this can be cut up into a ton of portions and frozen for the grab-and-go experience.

Turkey Meatloaf

Ingredients:
2 eggs, beaten
2 lbs. ground turkey
1 pkg.(6oz) Stove Top stuffing mix for chicken
1C water
3/4C barbeque sauce, divided (make sure it's a tasty sauce, not the crappy stuff)

Directions:
Preheat oven to 375.
In a small bowl,beat eggs lightly with a fork.
Place turkey, stuffing mix, water, beaten eggs, and half of the barbeque sauce in a large bowl.
Mix all ingredients by hand.
Shape meat mixture into an oval loaf in a 13x9" baking dish.
Top meatloaf with remaining half of barbeque sauce.
Bake 1 hour or until cooked thru or meat thermometer reaches 160.


I know that bread and BBQ sauce can be deadly to a diet in large portions, however, you can control your calories and fat intake by cutting it up into portions (you can probably get up to 14 portions out of this). Plus, ground turkey is a whole bunch better than ground beef.

Staples, Deux

Wow! It's been a while since I've written! Anyway...

Around the holidays a co-worker (a skinny, superhealthy co-worker) brought in a salad that her husband had made for her. I tried it, loved it and thought I'd share the recipe. It contains kidney beans, which are super good for you (here's a spot to read up on their nutritional goodies: http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=87 ).


Recipe for Corn-Bean Salad

• 2 cans (11 oz. each) corn niblets, drained (use "no salt added")
• 1 can (15 oz.) kidney beands, rinsed and drained (rinse them A LOT, until the red sludge disappears)
• 1 small red bell pepper, finely chopped
• 2 Tbsp. finely chopped onion (I used shallots, and put them through the food processor)
• 2 cloves garlic (because I used shallots I cut this down to 1 clove and put it in the food processor with the shallots)
• 2 Tbsp. chopped fresh cilantro (I find cilantro a rather strong herb, so I put it in the food processor and probably only used a little over a teaspoon)
• 2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar
• 1 tsp. olive oil
• Salt and pepper to taste (I used sea salt)

Mix everything together and chill for an hour -- delicious and nutritious!

I wish!

I watched a lot of TV over the week between Christmas and New Year's Eve. A lot. Yesterday I even went so far as to watch about 10 hours of the Deadliest Catch marathon on Discovery. One thing about watching just one channel for so long is that you tend to see a lot of the same commercials throughout the day. Yesterday there was an ad for Publishers Clearing House where they claimed the sweepstakes were paying the winner $5,000 a week for life. Man, could I use that money. So of course I entered. Duh. I didn't buy anything, though. I'll tell you what I would buy, though: a house, a car for my husband, lipposuction (yes, I would), a treadmill, a massage and a facial. And last but not least, I'd put my stepson through college. No financial aid bullshit or loans. Straight up paid for so the kid wouldn't have to worry about anything. The rest of it would just rot away in a bank (FDIC insured, of course), gaining interest. At some point I would probably feel comfortable enough to donate regularly to a charity.

I'm a pretty pessimistic person, but every once in a while I allow myself a few "what if" wishes and dreams like this. I sometimes wish that Oprah would somehow discover me and help me lose weight, donating a trainer and personal chef. Or that Richard Simmons was giving away free spaces on his fattie cruise. Or that some producer from Extreme Makeover would somehow bump into me on the streets of New York. Or that I got on The Biggest Loser and lost a hundred pounds in 3 months.

There's always a slim chance, right?

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." Though, unlike John Lennon, I use those words for purely selfish reasons.

Hating on the Skinny Chicks

I can't remember when it happened, but somewhere along the way I became a fat woman and began hating the skinny, pretty hipsters that all of a sudden seemed to surround me in abundance. I find the phenomenon both interesting and scary at the same time.

When did everyone in the room start getting younger, skinnier and prettier than me? Once I noticed that I got angry at all of them. Or so I thought. I guess what really happened is that I got angry with myself for not being them. Then I got even angrier and depressed because I didn't value myself enough to take care of my body. And we all know that kind of thinking is dangereuse, as the French say. It certainly lead me down a path of delightful goodies not unlike those in the first room in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

I can hardly stand to go out anymore. I inevitably feel uncomfortable, like I stand out (which I do a lot of times -- these women in Connecticut are really in shape and it seems like they're all wealthy enough to buy clothes from Ann Taylor or Nordstrom). In being uncomfortable I begin resenting the other women in the room, and sometimes the men, too. I begin feeling very defensive and am only inches away from an argument. I then take all of this out on my husband whom I somehow expect to know exactly how I'm feeling, and how DARE he leave me sitting alone at the table to go off and take pictures of a band, literally exposing me to the potential judgment that surrounds me???

So I hate on the skinny chicks. I latch onto any flaw I can find in them. If I can't find one, I'm almost sure to make one up. "Look how much she flips her hair -- she's pathetic!" "Supermodels have no tits." The men who salivate over them are also fair game. And truth be told, even when I was skinny I couldn't stand pathetic, transparent guys who made picking up women at bars their sport of choice. But now I've reached a new point in disdaining them. Even though I've never wanted that kind of guy to look at me, I'm mad because I'm not the type they want to look at. Jeez, could it get any more convoluted than that???

There are people who think (and say out loud) that fat people just need to stop eating. They don't realize that the dopamine release, the numbing our brains give us is what we seek from the food because we feel pretty shitty virtually all the time. I mean, what's the alternative to that? Pot? Cocaine? Alcohol? Painkillers? A lot of us turn to getting prescription antidepressants from our doctors, but ironically enough those pills make people gain weight. None of those are attractive options for me.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all of this shit go away, but I can't. I pray that someday I find my lost confidence.** I pray that someday I will not project my hatred of myself onto others, and that includes skinny chicks.



**Even if I find that confidence I reserve the right to hate troll guys at bars.

Back in the Swing of Things

Slowly, but surely I'm turning things around. I had an honest conversation with my husband (who does the grocery shopping) about my need for him to buy healthy food for me, and he seems to have accepted it. I'm hoping it leads to him buying better food for himself and his son, too. Supposedly it costs more to eat healthy, but I'm sure I can put together some meals for all of us that are good for our hearts and our wallets. If only I could get them to try whole wheat pasta!

On January 2nd I'll return to Curves and go every weekday until February 6th when I have a sort of high school reunion. After my trip in February I'll use my summer vacation at the beach as a goal. I'm sure I'll trip up before then, but what matters most is my ability to accept my faults as a fat girl foodie and get over it.

I sort of lost my head about food and exercise between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let's hope I've regained it until at least Thanksgiving 2008! :)